


alright kids, this is where it gets complicated

by Mars_and_Moon



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Torchwood
Genre: Alien Character(s), Gen, How Do I Tag, Immortal Ianto Jones, M/M, Nobody Knows What's Going On (Including The Author), Reunions, Slow To Update, Torchwood is The Gay Agenda, Universe Alteration, Wakes & Funerals, but don't worry i make it better, miracle day compliant, now with more chapters!, that's not a spoiler that's canon, title formerly "everything ends (sometimes not permanently)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23659090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mars_and_Moon/pseuds/Mars_and_Moon
Summary: Nobody spares any attention to the stranger walking towards them. Nobody notices, because they're all focused on the bleeding man.[In which there is one funeral, and seemingly two resurrections]{formerly "everything ends (sometimes not permanently)}
Relationships: Gwen Cooper/Rhys Williams, Heather (Doctor Who: The Pilot)/Bill Potts, Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Comments: 18
Kudos: 66





	1. PROLOGUE

**Author's Note:**

> look. we probably all know what's about to happen, but enjoy it anyway

The funeral was quick, compared to the ones Gwen had been to. Bodies post-Miracle were practically being shoved into caskets. Maybe it was the fact that Esther was C.I.A that gave her a longer service, maybe it was the universe apologizing. Which led Gwen to her next thought. 

"You'd think if that Blessing was so kind, it could've shown some sort of grace," The group of four was walking, but stopped momentarily to give a look. She elaborated, "Esther died right in front of it. That morphic field could've reached out and saved one last life. Why not?" 

Jack got that look in his eye, the one that was reserved for questions like this. Ones with big answers that nobody knew. "We'll never know. UNIT's sealed those sites up forever. Let that thing stay buried." 

"Yeah. What about you two, this Torchwood team?" Rex asked. "You reunited or what? Say no, please."

"Don't know," Gwen felt to hint of a smile on her face before she looked at Jack. "You staying?"

"You want me to stay?" Jack asked. 

Rhys sighed, but there was no real malice. "Please say no." 

The other three chuckled slightly, despite the sombre mood around them. A comfortable silence fell around them, which said something. Or maybe they all just formed a trauma bond. 

Rex's phone beeps, and he lets out a gasp once he sees the screen. "Oh, boy. Whoa whoa whoa."

"Anything wrong?" Gwen asks at the same time as Jack. Rex gives them a look, before shaking his head. 

"It's about Noah. You know, the analyst who died with Shapiro? They just retrieved his software from the explosion. The good thing is he told me his password because it's the same place I used to go for doughnuts. His last job was to look for that leak." His eyes don't leave the screen, if she didn't know what to look for she would say it's just grief. But she knows faces, and she knows that something isn't quite right. 

"What is it? What's it say?" She asks, trying to keep her voice level. They're surrounded by civilians and Gwen doesn't want to make a scene, she can feel Rhys eyes on her as he decodes her voice. 

"Shit," Rex exclaims in lieu of an answer. "Charlotte! Charlotte! Charlotte!" 

Gwen turns and sees the lady who had sat next to them during the service running away. Jack and Rex both pull out their gun, but before either of them have a chance Charlotte pulls out her own and fires quickly. If this were a different situation, Gwen would admire her quick aim. Given the fact that she watches a bullet go through Rex, she doesn't focus on that. 

A few more shots are heard, but the three remaining of the group don't bother looking. Jack looks like he's about to panic and shoot somebody else as he calls for help, Gwen kneels down quickly and applies pressure to the wound. A voice in her head that sounds far too much like Owen is telling her that she shouldn't be doing this with her bare hands. 

Nobody spares any attention to the stranger walking towards them. Not to his wrinkle free suit, or the green tie with white circles, not what looks like a stopwatch in his hand, and what looks suspiciously like a vortex manipulator on his left wrist. Nobody notices, because they're all focused on the bleeding man. 

"Not after everything he's gone through," Gwen begs. "No!" 

Jack grabs her shoulder with his left hand. If she looked at his face she would see that he looks broken, like he was already planning on what planet he'd be running off to. "There's nothing we can do. I'm...I'm sorry, Gwen. I am so sorry. He's dead."

And then Rex takes a deep breath and opens his eyes. There's silence for about one point one second before: "What?" 

Rhys looks at Rex, and then looks at Gwen. "What?"

Gwen looks at Rex, who is staring at her. She takes her hands off of where the bullet wound is supposed to be. "What?"

"What?" Rex is staring at the place where he just got shot, and sees no blood. He then watches as the scar from the pole heals. "What?" 

Gwen looks at Rhys, who is looking at Jack. "What the hell?" 

"That's impossible," Jack chokes out. Impossible doesn't even scratch the surface of what just happened, he's a fixed point because of a dying star turned engine possessing his friend. That's not something that can be re-made. And yet. 

Rex is glaring at Jack with murder in his eyes. He looks like he should be kept away from sharp weapons and at least six feet away from Jack at all times. 

"You, World War Two, what the hell did you do to me?" Rex shouts. A ginger lady to their left is looking on in shock, the other lady standing next to her has a similar look. The group are wearing the same expression. 

The stranger is watching them from only a few steps away. He watches as Jack's eyes move rapidly, looking at Rex and then Gwen and then Rhys and then looking at his hands. Gwen herself is still checking over Rex, who is trying to get her to stop. The stranger smiles to himself, two hundred and fifty years and some things never change. If he stood there silently for a few more moments, Rhys would be the first one to see him. Normally he might let that happen, but he really feels like being dramatic. Sue him, he's bored. 

He takes a deep breath, and puts on his best  _ Jack Harkness™ _ inspired smile. Time to get the show started. 

"Okay!" All four pairs of eyes turned to the new voice directed towards them. Jack meets his eyes before anyone else, his mouth falls open. Gwen reaches for her gun, while staring. A look of confusion passes across Rex's face. Rhys points at him. 

Ianto Jones gives the group a small wave with his free hand. " _ This _ is where it gets complicated."

Everybody starts yelling. 


	2. ONE || (unfortunately) this is torchwood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we find plot, reunions, flirting, and of course, shouting. 
> 
> (Or, give Ianto a raise AND vacation time please.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we are ten days later, with a new title, several cameos from doctor who, and awkward pacing  
> [can you guess who bill is? i say, as if it's not completely obvious.]

After a solid three minutes of shouting, Ianto finally managed to calm the group enough to say something. But before he even opened his mouth, he saw Jack draw his gun. Which is totally fair, and he would do the same if this situation happened to him. But Ianto really doesn't have the time to deal with being shot and questioned. So, he makes a decision. Is it a good one? Not really. Is it completely ethical? Also no. 

But, he presses down the button on his wrist strap that he lovingly refers to as  _ 'Scotty' _ . It has a name, a very technical name that Ianto forced himself to know, but  _ Scotty  _ is much more fun to say without context. He presses the button, and the next thing anyone sees in blue light that encases the five of them. 

Ianto lands perfectly, knees slightly bent, not a hair out of place. The coolness of the ship causes him to shiver, it’s kept at a specific temperature to make sure all species on the ship don’t die; Ianto still wears a jacket most days. It’s an older model than most, but significantly harder to knock of course over any of the newer models. 

The others land not so gracefully, with Gwen falling down. She’s still shouting, but Rhys seems to be calming her down enough to help her off the floor. Jack Harkness, being the Ex-Time Agent, Companion of The Doctor, and 51st Century Man he is, quickly puts the pieces together of how they got here. 

After three minutes and thirteen seconds all the group is standing, everyone shares a confused glance as they look around at their present surroundings before the shouting resumes. Ah, how completely unsurprising. 

Jack is still clinging on to his gun like a lifeline, and has it lined up to Ianto's right shoulder. He takes a moment to wonder if Jack could really shoot him. Probably, his grief is still fresh and he's standing here. 

"Alright!" Ianto shouts, which does nothing as the only person who is focused on him is Jack, who looks ready to shoot. He rolls his eyes before pulling out his own gun from the holster hidden by his coat, proceeds to fire twice at the roof before putting it back. He'll get in shit with Zara for that later, but it finally quiets everybody down.

"Thank you," Ianto says. Rex is starting to pull out his own gun, bloody Americans. One can never win with them. Still, Ianto plaster's on  _ Fake Smile 23.2™ _ , and can finally start explaining what's going on. 

"Before anybody starts shouting again," he looks at Gwen. "My name is Ianto Jones--and before the two of you jump to conclusions,  _ yes _ I am really Ianto Jones.  _ No _ I am not a shape-shifting alien. _ No _ I am not a hologram. If you give me time it'll be explained, before then you're welcome to check my pulse, and I am more than willing to run a DNA test. Currently, I'd appreciate it if everybody stopped pointing a gun at me; I enjoy not having bullet wounds." 

Rex looks over at Jack, and follows suit as Jack lowers his own gun slightly, but continues holding it. 

It's the most Ianto will get in this moment of time, nonetheless, he gives Jack a smile hoping to convey that everything is fine, just give it time, it'll be okay. Well, okay is an overstatement given the circumstances. 

He then launches back into his pre-planned speech. "Okay. Background information first: the year is currently 7316, I have no time to elaborate on how that happened. But as of 16:09, you are no longer on Earth. Currently, you are on a ship that is drifting through the Zarfin Galaxy, which is approximately thirty-six light years away from Earth. Congratulations, you've travelled through time and space." 

"We've done what?" Rex asks. Ianto won't lie and say that he's the C.I.A agents biggest fan, but he usually appreciates his no nonsense attitude. Said attitude has seemingly gone out of the window. "No, seriously. We've done what?" 

"Travelled through time and space, Rex. But that's not the point." 

"How the hell is that not the point!"

Ianto sighs; this is what he waited two hundred and fifty years for. With stupid timelines and stupid laws of time, and the stupid Doctor that Ianto still doesn't like. It could be worse, he reminds himself, Bill could be the one doing the introduction. Not to say he doesn't love Bill, but she isn't the best at staying on topic on a good day, let alone in a crisis. 

"Where are we?" Gwen asks, effectively shutting up Rex. "Specifically, where are we, and what the hell is going on?" 

"Torchwood," a new voice says. Causing Ianto to internally groan, why does everybody have the worst timing on this ship. None other than Houston Eras, is walking towards the group.

He definitely gives off the vibe that in a few years he'll be either dead, or in charge of everything. Currently though he is hidden by silver hair and white sunglasses. Ianto genuinely likes the kid--and kid is exactly what he is. He's younger than Ianto, and that's a difficult feat on the ship.

"Torchwood?" Rhys asks, giving Ianto a pointed look. 

Ever since Houston heard the name, he has insisted that the team is Space Torchwood. He's not technically wrong, but that doesn't mean Ianto enjoys it. Unfortunately, reports are now signed with the name Torchwood Zero. This was not something Ianto wanted to explain. 

"We're Torchwood, or the QV Institute. As that," he gives Houston a look, "Is the technical name for us." 

"Mine sounds cooler." 

"Your's sounds complicated." 

"If Bill was here she'd back me up." 

"Too bad she's on her honeymoon."

"For the fifth time." 

"It's not Bill or Heather's fault that the last four were interrupted by universal threats."

"Alright!" Rex shouts, having finally reached his breaking point. "I don't know what's going on, but fifteen minutes ago I died and then I came back to life. Then whoever you are shows up and starts making it even more complicated. So, what the hell is going on?" 

Oh, what Ianto would give to trade places with Bill or Houston, who was now walking away like the menace he is. He really just wants this to be over, he didn't know it was possible to feel so old and yet so young. He wants Gwen with her relentless optimism, and is craving to just be held by Jack. Two hundred and fifty years is too long, he has eternity to go and already he wants his life back. Ianto wants…well, he wants to go home. 

"You are currently on a spaceship, thousands of years in the future. You're here because the universe is in grave danger, and your help is needed," Ianto pauses, and his focus shifts to Jack. "That's all anyone is asking for; help. People are dying, entire worlds of people who haven't done anything wrong." 

Jack and Ianto don't break eye contact, it's noticeable, sort of weird, but Jack gives him a nod.  _ I don't know if I trust you _ , it says,  _ but I believe you _ . 

That's really all that matters in those seconds of time, nobody is dying, nobody returned from the dead, nobody is in space with no real context. Belief is one hell of a drug. Ianto learnt that a very long time ago, and it's dangerous. Right now, though, it's the only thing he needs. Jack believes him, and is not just a memory. 

Gwen clears her throat. "Right then, what's going on?" 

It's very much aimed at Jack, who seems to realize that the staring is getting too weird even for him because he looks at her and flashes a smile. "We're going to save the universe it seems."

"I didn't sign up for this," Rex groans. "Like, at all." 

"Collateral damage," and that's a real smile on Ianto's face. "It happens a lot in this line of work." 

"I'm not Torchwood," Rex argues. 

"That is incorrect, anyone who puts up with Jack Harkness and Gwen Cooper for more than twenty-four consecutive hours is officially Torchwood." 

"Is that a real rule?" Jack asks, and it is a genuine question knowing Torchwood. 

"That's confidential." Oh god, how he has missed the flirty bantering, the lingering stares, hands, lips, shoulders, thighs. Ianto clears his throat, cutting off that train of thought, really not the time for any of that. 

"Right then!" Jack exclaims, breaking the silence in the group. "Saving the universe, dealing with resurrection, and being dragged to a spaceship in the future? Easy." 

"Sounds like a regular day for Torchwood," Gwen laughs. Rhys gives her a look, before sighing. He couldn't get out of this if he tried. 

Suddenly, Ianto's wrist strap beeped. "This is Puddles to Coffee," a voice announced. "Meeting in the kitchen, and you're not going to like this, over." 

And so, the day gets worse. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all asked for more. another chapter is in the works, please note i have very little idea what the plot will be. but fear not, we will eventually get the jack/ianto reunion we all want. 
> 
> yet again, yell about ianto jones (and my oc's, what bastards) in the comments


	3. TWO || nobody gives a straight answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack Being Confused.  
> Space Lesbians.  
> Minimal Plot.  
> Ianto Can't Catch A Break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back from the dead and i come baring this shitty update
> 
> please enjoy

Nothing about this makes sense. Jack is used to being in situations where nothing makes sense, but this might be at the top of the list. For starters: Ianto Jones, a very dead man, is asking for help with a universe ending problem. Secondly, he's in the Zarfin Galaxy thousands of years in the future. Thirdly, Ianto Jones, a very dead man, is in front of him. Yes, he said that twice but people who die usually stay dead. But he's...alive. Very much alive, with a vortex manipulator and command of what is apparently Space Torchwood. So, nothing about this makes sense. 

The thing is, if it was just Jack it'd probably make more sense. But Gwen, Rhys, and Rex are also here. Rex is also a very dead man, who died, and then came back before their eyes. Like Jack does, which isn't even remotely possible. But he's keeping his eyes on the other three, because they seem even more clueless then him. Especially once a voice starts talking from apparently nowhere. 

Well, not nowhere. It came from the vortex manipulator on Ianto's wrist. No sense is to be found. For the first time in a long time, Jack is very out of his depth here. 

It doesn't help that the universe is apparently in supreme danger. Danger that Jack is pretty sure isn't supposed to be his problem, but then Ianto gave him that look, the look that says  _ If We Can Save One, Let's Do It _ . It was whiplash seeing that look, it's what he wore when they stormed…Not the time for that train of thought, Jack might be nursing a hangover, the universe is in danger, so he really can't cry. Not the place for his repressed trauma to be revealed. 

So, he bites his tongue and keeps walking towards the kitchen, thinking about the message that they all heard. Rex and Ianto lead, and Rex seemingly has yet to fully grasp the whole situation. Jack was behind the two, spiraling and craving for a Mondu Rum on the rocks. Gwen and Rhys after him, he can feel their panic so much it leaves a bad flavour in his mouth. Any other time he would bring out the low level telepathic relaxers. Any other time he wouldn't be a ship in a different galaxy in a different century. 

They reach the kitchen, and much to Jack's surprise it's an actual kitchen. He can see the higher tech, but it looks very similar to a regular Earth kitchen. He notices that somebody is already in there, a young woman with choppy dark hair who looks like she hasn't slept in two weeks. She also looks...wet? She's completely dry, so Jack isn't quite sure why she looks wet. 

"Heather, why aren't you on your honeymoon?" Ianto asks. 

"Ianto, why is Torchwood here?" The girl, Heather, shot back. 

"Where's Bill?" 

"Chasing down Huston, Ovin's helping her." 

Jack understands about half of this conversation. The name Ovin sounds familiar, in the way that most religious names sound. He can't remember what species the name belongs to, though. Which is sort of irritating. 

"Sorry, hate to interrupt," Rex says, which is a bold face lie. "But, who are you? What's going on?" 

Heather gave Rex a once over, and seemed unimpressed. "My name is Heather, she/them, sometimes I turn into a puddle."

"Did you say puddle, love?" Gwen asks. 

Heather shoots Ianto a look, one that obviously means she has several choice words for him. "Yes." 

Oh, cool. That narrows down the species down to two. Also, Heather seems really cool. 

"Great!" Ianto exclaims, trying to change the subject. "Now, back on topic: Why am I here? Where is Bill?" 

"I told you, Bill and Ovin are finding Huston. Zaraill is cursing scuff marks--have fun with that, by the way." Heather goes to open the fridge, pulling out what looked like a premade sandwich. "Anyway, the reason I called you here is because the update you asked for got sent to me again." 

"That's it?" Ianto asks in disbelief. 

"Hm?" Heather turns to look at him. "What? No? If that was it I would still be on my honeymoon enjoying looking at my wife in her bathing suit. No, Ianto." 

Ianto gave her an unimpressed look, one that Jack had been on the receiving end of many times. Heather didn't bat an eye, instead she took a bite of her sandwich. She seemed completely unbothered. 

"It was supposed to be a basic update from C-129N, right? From, what's their name? Qulip? Quellip? Qorn? Whatever, the point is," she took another bite of her sandwich, "I'm guessing I wasn't supposed to get a bomb designed by W_ALN?" 

If Ianto had been drinking something, this is the point where he would spit out his drink in outrage and shock. "What the  _ fuck _ is Gridley doing make bombs?" 

That finally got a reaction out of Heather, who finally placed her sandwich down and gave Ianto a look. "I didn't say who..."

She trailed off after getting a good look at his face. Jack can't recall ever seeing Ianto get this worked up over something, it was unsettling. It hardly matched the picture he had in his mind of Ianto Jones. 

"Anyway," Heather continues, "We'll wait for the team before furthering the discussion? Maybe you should show, the, uh...guests, around? Or, run six miles? Generally stop looking like you want to take an eye out, poor Ovin is still scared of you and the whole revenge plot won't help." 

"Go fuck yourself, Heather," Ianto says, while guiding the space travelers to do exactly what she suggested. 

"That's what I have my wife for!" She shouted back, crackling. 

Jack still has no clue what's going on. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you may be asking: is there a plot? the answer is no, no there isn't. 
> 
> come yell in the comments about anything.

**Author's Note:**

> there's more of this written, but i'm not sure if i'll ever post it. anyway, thanks for reading, feel free to yell about ianto jones in the comments.


End file.
